Backwoods Shenanigans
by the-kings-tail-fin
Summary: Bobby takes an unsuspecting Cal on an adventure out in the bogs of rural Mississippi.


"Come on, Bobby, are we there yet?" Cal complained. "We've been out here forever."

"It's been ten minutes, Cal." Bobby reminded him. "And don't talk so loudly. You'll wake the spirits up."

"Whatever." Cal rolled his eyes and kept trudging through the undergrowth.

Bobby's property was extensive, and right smack dab in the middle of Nowhere, Mississippi. Mississippi in summertime is as swampy as it gets without going to the Louisiana bayou itself. With outrageous humidity and insects the size of small tires, Cal didn't want to be outside in the daytime, let alone at night.

His friend thought differently. Bobby had told him all about this supposedly haunted shack a half a mile or so back through the woods. When Cal laughed and told Bobby he didn't believe in hauntings, ghosts, or anything of that sort, he'd essentially signed his own permission slip for going and checking it out.

The sound of the crickets and bullfrogs was overwhelming, consuming the night around them. They were driving with no lights through a lightly wooded, swampy field, guided only by the moon and Cal's wavering trust in his friend. The dew had coated everything, so not only were they getting dirty, they were getting wet and itchy as well.

"This place better be as good as you say it is." Cal said, shaking some mud off his front right tire. "I'll have you know this is the sketchiest thing I've ever done."

"Relax, man." Bobby continued to talk in a hushed tone. "Just go with it. Take in the lore."

"I told you, I don't believe in lore." he reminded him. "The only piece of lore I ever even found interesting was _The Legend of Wooley Swamp_ and that's just because Tex likes to listen to The Charlie Daniels Band a lot. And if you'll recall, that story didn't end well for anyone."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now come on, there's a creek up here we need to cross. Then we're almost there."

Cal heard it before he saw it. Bobby took point and crossed it first, leaving Cal to hesitantly follow. He didn't like not being able to see what was in the water, and flipped his headlights on to get a better look.

"Cal!" Bobby hissed at him. "No lights! What's with you?"

"I just wanted to see the water, sheesh, calm down." Cal turned his lights back off and entered the stream hesitantly. He hadn't seen anything, but then again he'd had all of two seconds to look.

The moment his front tires beached on the other side of the water, something loud and thudding came pounding towards them from the yonder side before splashing into the water. Cal screamed as something hit him in the side, and kicked up dirt and mud all over Bobby as he high-tailed it into the woods. He couldn't see anything, but only something huge could have made a sound like that. Was it chasing him? Was this the end?

"Cal!" Bobby caught up with him and pulled him to a halt. "Dude, what was that?"

"I don't know!" Cal was whispering now, panting. "I don't know, man, but it was big. Did it follow us?"

"I don't think so. But then again I didn't see it either." Bobby looked worried. "I don't even know what kind of creature could make that big of a commotion."

They sat in silence for a moment and listened. There was nothing, not even the crickets and frogs now, at least not for a long ways off. It was eerie. Cal felt a shiver run through him.

"Alright." Bobby sighed, still speaking quietly. "Come on. Stay with me. No lights, no loud sounds. Got it?"

A twig snapped behind them, and Cal squeaked in surprise. He could almost feel something breathing down his side.

"Okay." his response was barely audible as they slowly, quietly started into the final leg of their journey.

Cal couldn't shake the feeling that something was following him, but every time he turned and looked behind him, there was nothing. He would drive through patches of warm air, cold air, warm, cold, then warm again. In some places the insects would be singing, and in other places they wouldn't be. Something wasn't right, and Cal began to realize there may be more to the place than he'd given it credit for.

To keep his mind occupied, he began mentally singing the lyrics to the song he'd had stuck in his head ever since they'd started in on their adventure. It wasn't exactly comforting, but it was distracting.

 _Well if you ever go back to the Wooley Swamp, well you better not go at night._

 _There's things out there in the middle of them woods that'd make a strong man die of fright._

 _There's things that crawl and things that fly, and things that creep around on the ground._

 _And they say the ghost of Lucius Clay gets up and he -_

Bobby stopped so suddenly Cal nearly ran into him. Bobby motioned for him to stay still, and Cal wasn't about to protest. He was suddenly very acutely aware of the environment around him, like his senses had all just been dialed to ten. There was something small moving in the weeds to his right. A bird flapped its wings above him and to the left. All other life was silent around them.

Cal shivered. He wanted to go back to Bobby's house, but he didn't have the guts to say so. He had to tough this out or he'd never hear the end of it.

"Did you hear that?" Bobby asked.

"Hear what?" Cal didn't hear anything. All he heard was a lack of something.

An unnatural screaming sound came from behind them, and something warm and writhing fell onto Cal's hood. He jumped, shook the screeching creature off of him and pushed Bobby forward. Bobby didn't ask questions. Cal was trembling, too shook up to make any sort of noise.

"Maybe this wan't a good idea." Bobby murmured.

Cal, wide-eyed and paranoid, stuck to Bobby's side. "You think?"

They continued to drive. Cal saw it before Bobby pointed it out. That old rickety shack looked just like what Cal'd pictured Lucius Clay's house to be. He was immediately on the lookout for pits of quicksand. He wasn't dying tonight if he had anything to say about it.

"Finally." Bobby said in a normal tone of voice. "We made it!"

"Yeah, great." Cal's fear nullified any excitement he might have felt. "Now what?"

"Now we go check it out!" Bobby approached the front door and opened it.

The hinges creaked ominously until the wooden slab came to a halt. Cal nosed in and flipped his headlights on again. They'd made it past whatever had been following them, right? If Bobby thought it was safe to talk out loud, it was safe to use lights.

It would have been a cozy little area had it not been for all the cobwebs. The house looked like it had been left in a hurry. There were dishes still in the cabinets and a table set to be served. A window on the opposing wall opened up a view of the pond behind the building, and it was actually quite serene.

"Hey, this is pretty cool." Cal called back to his friend.

No response.

"Bobby?"

Cal went to look out the way he'd come in, but the door slammed shut as he turned. There was more silence.

"Uh, alright, man. Really funny. You bring me out here, we get chased by something, you lock me in an old building, I get it." Cal sounded much more confident and relaxed than he was.

There was still nothing. Cal pushed on the door, but it wouldn't budge. He thought he heard whispers from across the room, but when he looked there was nothing there. As if on cue, the light of the moon was obscured by darkening clouds, and Cal was fully dependent on his own lights.

"Come on, Bobby, I - "

The floor was shaking. Or was that him? No, it was definitely the floor. He could see each individual wooden board modulating under some unseen weight. Cal felt cold again. And scared. He wasn't afraid to admit he was scared.

He tried ramming the door, but there wasn't enough room for him to make a run at it. That didn't keep him from trying. Silently panicking, he tried to consider his options, but his mind wouldn't process anything more complex than what was right in front of him.

Something touched his rear fender. Cal yelled and whipped around, ready to strike. Two figures approached him from behind, covered in old ratty sheets that had horrible embroidery on them. Cal's fight or flight mechanism had switched from flight clear to the other end of the spectrum. He reached out, and in one swift motion, pulled the fabric off the two intruders.

The two immediately started laughing while Cal looked on, speechless and a little angry.

"What the heck?" he asked incredulously. "Bobby, how did you get in here? And Lightning, where the heck did you come from?"

His friends only responded to his questions in more laughter and mockery. Cal finally felt safe, but at what cost?

"Dude, you were so scared." Bobby wheezed. "When McQueen jumped into the water earlier, I thought you were gonna… and then he threw a…"

His own laughter cut him off mid sentence. Cal gave Lightning an annoyed look, expecting a more coherent answer.

"Cal, there was another door right over there." he informed him. "You could have just gone out that way instead of trying to bring the place down. Oh, and by the way, where'd you learn to scream? I've never heard _anything_ like that."

Cal just sighed. "Alright. Whatever. You got me. Now what? We're out here, aren't we?"

"I brought beer, cards, and poker chips." Bobby said, catching his breath and pulling a box out from behind an old wooden chest. "Who's down for some backwoods poker?"


End file.
